broadBRAIN

Top 10 things that I have learned in 2005:

1. Finally awoke with the reality lied in front; that SPM really is 17-high-schools' most important thing. That we can't travel back. Because we keep moving forward, even we insist not to. Yeah, my SPM, I don't feel like bragging because there's nothing to brag about.And so, hello pre-university a.k.a Form 6 a.k.a STPM's student.

2. Appreciating opportunities. Never give up. And so I applied for UPU until I got in the system; even it's second intake but who cares as long as you're in the system. I appreciate it sooo much since it's like a dream came true, oh, no no. Not 'LIKE' (with middle and pointing fingers of both hands twig along) anymore, it IS a dream came true. A dream since I was 15. So, congratulation to me. Haha. (Hey, I deserve a self-appreciation and gratitude here. Hello?) LOL. Alhamdulillah. I struggled for the past semesters, aiming for the best but somehow I found out, I just couldn't. Nah~ Not because it was hard or crappy stuffs like that, but because I was the same old me; LAZY.So, I'm clutching a near gear: work smart, grab my ass and start kicking (if only I know how to move with trans music, I'll kick everyone's butt out of the dance floor, i mean exam hall for being too cool :p blurh~)

3. LOVE. I found my 1st love in that year. You know, the-short-and-sweet-guy-named-Farrid. Wasn't it cool? 18 and still virgin (not literally virgin ok? I mean, literally, I'm a virgin woman. I mean, I'm virgin from being hooked up with anyone just before 18. You got what I mean, right? I hope you do.) Oh, alaaa.. I had one when I was 16, but I consider that as, errmm.. more like the stupidest decision ever and it was not even a relationship. Its more like a virtual one. Don't ask for more about it. Just swallow all these facts I'm giving you. Ya ya, I was boyish, manly, comot, unpopular. But 2005 was the interchange section. Thanks Tasha for teaching me about walking womanly, dressed up chic-ly (remember my 1st Giordano Skinnny we bought at KLCC? and the Nose heels at SUbang Parade? haha. It was a hilarious experience though). I also learned to apply powder on my face! LOL :D

4. Friendship. I accidentally bumped to this girl. She was a friend to me since form 1 but we never spoke from heart-to-heart before, nor sitting around together like what we are doing now. Thanks Hafisya! You taught me a lot about friendship. And to this wacky-wacko girl, named Hanum, you are the clown of our hearts and we love you and care about you. I also learned that when best friends became lover, it's a complex matter that needs complex solution. It's very hard for best friends to be lovers. It's a suffering 4 years experience I must say.

5. Let Go. Let go of the past but at the same time, make it a lesson. Whatever things that happened in the past, came with reasons, and that is as a lesson. So, I let go of my past, but keeping the lesson in my heart. So it's fair for both side; let go or not, that is the question. DU-UH~. haha. Let go of my SPM experience, make it a lesson. Let go of my man-ly life, make it a lesson. Let go of metal and hard core musics, appreciate jazz and dream-pop indie :p LOL.

6. Independent. To walk my life alone, with no one to advise me, provide directions nor help me figure out and doing out things. I learned to stay in hostel. Haha. It was a great first-time experience!! Oh I miss UiTM Kampus Remaja, Kuantan, Pahang soooo much! I learned to do laundry with my hands, to wake up early in the morning on my own (oh I have to admit that my friends were such a helper, helping me waking up me. haha!). And I miss the orientation week at Jengka, too :) I miss the part when we have to rehearse for a final show, that we don't have to listen to all those talks given for 4 days, if I'm not mistaken, as well as the first-hand experience witnessing exorcism during Subuh prayer. errr, that was creepy btw.

7. To travel and keep the eyes and mind wide open. Hiking at Bukit Bendera provided me with a deep thought about someone. About how deep I can trust him. Whether he's being true to himself and people around him. And how situations may reveal the top secrets you've been keeping all along. And so, I learned to conduct a mini investigation, which failed. HAHA! I love PPC gang! Teluk Cempedak BBQ Day Out, Taman Gelora Aerobic Day Out, pasar malam, nasi lemak tanjung api (which was very cheap) and the arked near Vistana Hotel.(Errr..most occurred in 2006).Oh! And Megamall Kuantan too where we used to Bowl and shop :) I miss my 18 years old phase of life. The Bus Terminal situated next to the stadium. Mydin, Kamdar (which was newly-built that year), Kuantan Parade and other interesting places I've been. Oh, a big thanks to Abg Yan along with Azmin and Fiha for the experience at the Buddha temple; the BIG fishes and hundreds of turtles.

8. Trust. Trustworthy. Never trust strangers. Ahhh~ cliche. Here's what I've learned. I trusted a man, whom having a very strong bond with me and the family, but after all, he's not that kind and honest. So, trust came with a price. It's a norm for every human being I guess to have this kind of life lesson in their lives. So why bother to explain? Next!

9. Give and take. If only I am able to apply the "Only take is allowed here" kind of policy, well, the world is not spinning around you ONLY. And not everything in life is about YOU. When I worked with my Aunt at her clinic, I learned to receive orders, accept punishments and walk the job given. I am not the one who simply obey the rules, I'm the one who breaks it at most. Rules were my enemies. Orders were the killing machines to me. Why not combating them? Well, they taught me that they are the one that will guide me throughout my life.Incredibly they are my friends & foes at the same time for the present time :)

10. People comes with not only different shape and sizes, but colours and attitudes too ;) Don't expect too high and too much!



xoxo :)

Commitment.Trustworthy.Love.Friendship.

Life lessons.

Love kills me when I ignored him.
It teared me when he found someone else.
It destroyed me when his friends blamed me.
Love is confusing.
Sometimes it whispered to me to feel and embrace it, while at times it yelled at me to stop flattering it.
Love speaks louder than you thought it would.
That love can knock you down. (this part, is the 3-words-lyric :p).
But Love calms me when I realize that God loves me, and put me through the series of tests.
With all of those tests, I learned to give commitments and know, what LOVE really means.
Love means to ask for the littlest, and how much and big you give is the matter.
Love means to be humble and honest.
Love means to know yourself better.
Thank you Allah.



I learned that Friendship is hard to keep, especially when cheating is fatally involved.
Fatal to your relationship.
Fatal to your emotion.
I learned that to make friends is rather simple than having trust on them.
So, why make friends?
Well, that's how I found out that friends are important to help you to learn and understand things better.
By having friends, you'll learn to build and keep your friendship as it is.
They will help you realize that they come with different labels and patterns: Loyal, Kind, Backstabber, Cheater and Etc.
You name it, they're in your life register.
No wonder Ibu never forgets to ponder me with "Kalau Berkawan Biar Berpada-pada". Thanks Ibu.
Its a great lesson I learned in the past 4 years.

This entry will be in Bahasa Malaysia entirely(almost) except for the introduction part(this one lah~).

P/s: Ini berdasarkan konteks Malaysia, negara serba boleh.

Baiklah (ok). Seperti yang anda sedia maklum, bulan puasa adalah bulan orang mencari rezeki. (Bulan lain mencari rezeki juga, cuma di bulan puasa ini orang mencari peluang baru dengan menjual barangan untuk sambutan Hari Raya Aidilfitri dan juga juadah berbuka puasa). Aktivitinya berganda. Bermulalah episod jual beli yang meriah oleh segolongan manusia.

Golongan ini tidak hanya berpaksi pada kaum wanita sahaja, kaum lelaki juga tidak terkecuali. Masing-masing sakan membuat empayar bisnes dan mencari peluang. (Khusus pada mereka yang terlibat dengan bisnes. Yang goyang kaki sila abaikan perenggan ini dan juga entri ini kerana penulis begitu bodoh kerana memikirkan isu kecil ini).

Fenomena ini (dipanggil fenomena kerana perlakuannya bermusim dan berkala) melanda tidak hanya kepada golongan korporat, yang berkolar biru, merah, putih, berdaki atau kolar-kolar warna lain, malah rata-rata melanda setiap golongan dari setiap kasta sosial. Ibarat pilihanraya, pasti ada wakil rakyat yang dilantik secara demokratik bagi setiap ADUN. Bezanya, penggiat bisnes ini tidak dilantik oleh sesiapa, tetapi melantik diri sendiri akibat minat yang tidak terbendung serta keyakinan diri yang mantap (kalau dalam teori Maslow, 'Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs' golongan ini boleh di kategori sebagai yang dah mencapai tahap "self-actualization" atau "realisasi-diri").

Fokus entri ini adalah pada golongan pendidik. Sebelum penulis di hentam oleh golongan yang bijak berkata-kata ini, (kerana penulis juga dari golongan ini) eloklah kiranya jika penulis menekankan bahawa TIDAK SEMUA YANG BERKELAKUAN BEGINI, bak kata pepatah Melayu, kerana nila setitik, rosak susu sebelanga. Ya. Mana tidaknya, perkara ini telah di umumkan (generalized) ke atas semua pendidik. (Ya, tidak adil pada kami yang bernaung di bawah undang-undang demokrasi berperlembagaan tapi kadang-kadang media cukup menjengkelkan kerana menekan kami dengan situasi tersebut.)

Penulis tidak mengenepikan kebenaran isu yang bakal di bentangkan. Penulis cuma hairan, adakah isu ini berbaur sindirin atau pujian? Jika sindiran, takkan golongan pendidik nak diam seribu batu ( ya lah, takkan nak bangkang pulak sebab apa yang disindir merupakan satu kebenaran yang tidak boleh ditabur secara umum). Tapi kalau pujian, kenapa tidak secara telus? Yang menarik skali, ada segelintir pendidik yang turut serta mentertawakan sketsa pencabul tersebut. Bukankah mereka sepatutnya memikirkan situasi tersebut? Niat dan usaha murni itu tak salah, TAPI apa yang salah? Cukuplah ia mencemarkan profesionalisme serta kredibiliti kami; sang pendidik, di mata masyarakat.

Konteksnya sudah cukup terang lagi bersuluh. Siapa yang makan cili, dia terasa pedasnya. Cuma penulis hairan, apa salahnya jika nak cari sumber pendapatan lebih? Yang tidak menghairankan adalah konteks kejadian ("context of occurence"). Mana tidaknya, dalam kelas, sewaktu pengajaran dan pembelajaran berlangsung, di bilik guru, sebelum mesyuarat PIBG, sebelum ke tandas, waktu perhimpunan, pendek cerita, asal ada peluang, pasti dirembat. Inilah yang disindir media sebenarnya. Satu kebenaran.

Sebelum penulis berhenti menaip, ingin penulis kongsi sesuatu. Jangan jadi bodoh wahai pendidik. Kita adalah contoh kepada masyarakat (sepatutnya). Tak salah mencari rezeki yang halal dan pendapatan tambahan, tapi lihatlah pada konteks kesesuaiannya. Yang utama harus di dahulukan. Macam Rukun Islam. Yang wajib harus dilaksanakan, yang belum mampu, usahakan. Seandainya mampu, laksanakan. Islam itu mudah. Tanggungjawab itu juga mudah. Cuma yang sukarnya adalah melaksanakan, kerana kita yang putuskan sama ada nak guna cara mudah atau cara susah untuk melaksanakannya. Sekian coretan bangang dan panjang dari penulis. Dimudahkan cerita, carilah waktu yang sesuai. Jangan main suka-suka nak buat promosi.

*Maaf kepada semua. Penulis hanya manusia biasa. (Ayat "defensive" penulis, yang mana rata-rata digunakan oleh pihak media dan yang berkaitan).